My Dream had come true!
I got accepted into an ACC school where I now had the opportunity to wear those tacky rugby shirts at the pep band games! Yay!
I was so nervous before my marching band audition. I was messaging band members months before asking for tips on how to prepare. Everyone agreed to not sweat it. Maybe I had Drumline in my head even through I knew this was not an HBCU
Haha - even as I am writing this I am laughing at myself for my true feelings of only feeling excitement from being in band! I was on a full ride engineering scholarship, but that's not exactly what I was excited about (sorry Mom). What kept me going on the 2am, 3am nights in the library was how much fun the football games were and dreams of traveling (oh I mean) studying abroad.
Football games were a dream - fireworks, energy, rushing the feild and playing was so much fun. Yes nerve racking at times. It was a running joke that the freshman were the best marchers. They always knew where they were going and paid attention. They memorized the music and knew the next set to go to. I really didn't understand why the upper classman couldn't get it together (joking). Until I was an upper classman and my brain was filled with homework and problem sets and interviews that it was just easier to follow the freshman who knew where they were going...lol.
I just remember how friendly the saxophone section was to create an inclusive environment and plan activities to make college fun. Especially for me being so so shy and introverted. I really appreciated the community. Deep down for some reason I felt so distant from them. Was it because they were a different race? Honestly, the more I've learned about myself, race has not been a determining factor for me. I have felt distant from everyone. I didn't want to say anything too silly or have someone make fun of me, it was just easier to be quiet. I should have paid closer attention and asked myself why back then. I may have been too caught up in being a "good girl" thinking that was all that mattered. They were so kind and didn't try to force me to be someone I was not. That was great! At that point and even now I wish I had had more vulnerable relationships. I was by far too afraid to back then.
Comments